Note: In this fictional tale, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or existing locations is purely coincidental and unintended.
Hello, dear readers. I took a week off from posting due to the holiday season. I plan to write two chapters this week. I appreciate those who continue to follow this story of love and friendship – Unspoken Words, Admiring You from Afar.
For those who haven’t read it yet, you can read it here.
- Chapter 1: Admiring You From Afar
- Chapter 2: First Encounter
- Chapter 3: The Dance of Hearts
- Chapter 4: Heartbeats and Hidden Smiles
- Chapter 5: Surprise Visit and Shy Encounter
- Chapter 6: Uncharted Feelings: Exploring the Mysteries of Connection and Soulmates
This story will continue with a new chapter every Sunday. Feel free to subscribe via email; your support means a lot to me. Share your reactions in the comment box below – I welcome them all.
Love, Princess
Chapter 7: Echoes of Emotions
Finding people with whom you can share your soul is rare, and Megan, Elena, and Gabriela are true gems. With them, I can be myself without pretensions or the need to try hard for acceptance – just love. I’m incredibly thankful that God sent them into my life.
Sharing life with them feels like being part of a family. Megan, despite her strong personality, has a sweetness to her that wasn’t initially obvious but she has become more expressive lately. Working the morning shift today, I eagerly await Megan’s arrival for her next shift. We’ve grown accustomed to being together almost every day, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the head office decides to separate us one day. There’s a feeling I might be the one transferred (again) – perhaps they’ve noticed our playful antics on camera. We work hard, but there’s joy in being a bit crazy sometimes. Despite my quiet exterior, I’m truly a bit of a crazy one as well.
As Megan enters the store, I sense something is wrong. Her eyes are puffy, swollen from crying – she’s not okay. I wait until some customers leave, then gently ask, “You’re not okay, Megan. What’s wrong?”
“It’s over, we’re not together anymore. He’s moving out this week,” she replies, her tone filled with anger and hurt. I don’t pry into the details. Instead, I ask, “Do you need a hug?” and embrace her tightly, silently praying for the Lord to comfort her and provide strength to face this heartbreak.
She shares more about how her boyfriend decided to end things, stating he doesn’t feel love for her anymore. Even though she sounds calm, the pain in her words echoes a silent scream. All I can do is listen and let her pour out her heart. As I listen, her pain becomes mine, and my heart breaks alongside hers.
In Megan’s words of hurt and anger towards her boyfriend, I sense a deep-seated feeling of not being enough. She silently questions if there’s something wrong with her, causing this heartbreak to happen once more.
Amidst our workloads, I make an effort to ensure she’s okay. I try to lighten the atmosphere, making her laugh to momentarily forget the pain. Megan will be working with Elena tonight, and I assure her that I’m available to hang out after her shift. So, we decide to grab a bite at McDonald’s.
Megan’s Past Relationship and Heartbreak
Megan’s past relationship was hauntingly familiar – her ex-boyfriend, like the current one, cited a lack of love and intentionally cheated on her. To make matters worse, he blackmailed her with intimate photos when he wanted to exploit her. Those years left her utterly broken, engaging in casual encounters with anyone around, driven by a sense of loss and despair.
Listening to her recount these painful experiences breaks my heart. I feel a deep sympathy and sorrow for what she had to endure. “I don’t want to go back to that state again,” she says with a weak and sad tone. “Girl, you won’t. You are different now,” I reassure her.
Then, she reveals another layer of the story involving someone named Derek, her (recent) ex-boyfriend’s friend who began showing interest in her immediately after the breakup. I know Derek – a funny and overly confident guy I used to work with in a different store. Even then, I noticed his affection for Megan in the way he looked at her and how he interacted with her. There were even verbal warnings from the head office about keeping whatever they had outside the workplace. Though I don’t know what’s captured on camera, I’ve heard rumors of their flirtations. I remember having to play the role of a babysitter during our shifts, keeping an eye on the two. Perhaps this is one reason they were separated – Megan was moved to this store, and Derek stayed.
One time I confronted Derek, I directly told him, “I know you like Megan,” catching him off guard. He paused, claiming they had a special connection. I didn’t feel comfortable with his response. According to him, Megan liked him too, though she would never admit it.
Their connection felt too intimate for my comfort. I disliked the fact that he seemed to be rushing things, especially now that she’s single. Instead of expressing concern for his friend going through tough times, it felt like he was reveling in the situation. To make matters worse, he’s in a relationship with someone else.
Megan opens up about hanging out with Derek at the beach one time, wearing a swimsuit with shorts. However, when changing clothes later, she had to remove the shorts, and Derek saw. This revelation raises concerns about Derek’s intentions, leaving me uneasy about what he might try next.
As she continues her story, Megan shares that Derek called her at midnight, boldly asking if she wanted to engage in intimate activities because he really felt like it. This guy, the nerve! Unable to hold back, I switch to my older sister tone mode and express, “Girl, I see all the red flags here.”
Before I share my thoughts, I ask, “Do you like him?” Her response is somewhat doubtful. “I mean, he’s not bad. I admit we kind of have some connections,” she admits. Then she drops a bombshell: “I almost did it with him before. We were on the verge of it one time, talking about a dream he had where we were intimate. I was tempted but didn’t go through with it because I love my boyfriend,” she honestly confesses.
Before sharing my thoughts, I make sure Megan is open to my opinion and advice. Being someone who doesn’t give unsolicited advice, I respect that some people just need someone to listen. As Megan agrees, I begin to speak my mind.
I emphasize that whatever she has with Derek is okay, and their friendship is great. However, if she allows me, I would advise her to put that on hold. While it’s her choice whether to pursue a deeper relationship with him, in my mind, I hope she doesn’t. I’m not 100% okay with it. I explain my reasons for advising against rushing things – either she could lose his friendship or the chance of a meaningful relationship. With genuine concern, I tell her, “Because, Megan, you have to heal first.”
Enumerating the red flags I see, I point out that Derek taking advantage of the situation isn’t the act of a good friend. A caring friend would allow her the time and space to heal from the heartbreak. His hurry to not lose his chance raises doubts about his potential as a good boyfriend. Asking Megan to engage in intimate activities while he’s in a relationship is completely off.
Recalling a past encounter, I share that Derek once complimented me, stating that if I were single, he’d try to pursue me. I respond bluntly, “Well, if you did, I’d probably reject you because you are a womanizer.” Even before Megan’s situation, I sensed he wasn’t trustworthy.
Moving back to Megan’s situation, I assert that Derek’s feelings for her seem more like lust than love. I express that, if I were in her shoes, I would feel disrespected by his midnight proposition. I emphasize the importance of self-respect, telling her, “You are not an object, girl.”
Analyzing the situation, a profound sadness envelops me for Megan. Her pain and brokenness reflect a connection to past traumas, and I refrain from passing judgment. This experience exposes the depth of her wounds, revealing a longing for attention, love, and acceptance.
Our night concludes with a prayer for Megan and Elena. Each of us carries our own burdens and issues. The weight of the night lingers, and as we part ways, I can only hope for a better tomorrow for all of us.
The Prayer
As I prepare for bed, sleep avoids me, burdened by the weight of Megan’s heartbreaking revelations. Despite appearing strong and composed while listening and offering advice, the depth of my emotional response remains hidden. Only God truly knows how it affects me.
Reflecting on my past experiences, I recall moments from my youth when I didn’t feel enough. I chased a guy, even going so far as to buy prepaid loads for him to respond to my texts. I was the only one with feelings, and the experience was less than pleasant. Despite this, I chose to remain friends with him. However, the feeling of being unwanted lingers. He occasionally messages me to borrow money, debts that are never repaid. After a few instances, I finally learned to say no. Establishing boundaries is a crucial lesson I’ve gleaned from life. We mustn’t allow others to mistreat or take advantage of us.
Considering Megan’s situation, I understand she might do anything for her boyfriend, even if she suspects he has someone else. She may still be willing to accept him back. I have a sense of the emotions she might be, but who am I to judge? I hope she learns valuable lessons from this experience
Sitting on my bed, I find solace in prayer:
“Lord, I’m grateful for my life. Thank you for sparing me from the kind of heartbreak and brokenness Megan has endured. Yet, my heart is heavy for her. I lack words. I feel the weight of the struggles she faces, especially the way other men use her. She’s beautifully created by You, but she is broken. God, she needs You desperately. Fill the emptiness in her heart. I pray she realizes that You are all she needs – the source of joy, peace, and love. No one else can complete us but You. May she understand that she doesn’t need a man or anyone else to feel loved and accepted because she already is. You loved her from the very beginning. Let this situation draw her closer to You, the love she has longed for. Also, teach her to love herself enough by setting boundaries. That she’ll know ho to say ‘No’ for the ones that don’t benefits her. When she understands this, I believe she will get out from this situation stronger than before.”
Moved by this prayer, I rise and grab my guitar. The song ‘Hungry (Falling on my knees) echoes in my mind, and as I strum, I feel a profound peace, a peace that Jesus alone can provide. While singing, I remember Megan in my prayers and worship, asking the Lord to touch her in a special way. May He grant her peace as she sleeps through the night, and to all the brokenhearted, I pray that they find the peace they long for.
Hungry I come to You
For I know You satisfy
I am empty but I know
Your love does not run dry
So I wait for You
So I wait for You
I’m falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus You’re all
This heart is living for
Broken I run to You
For Your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know Your touch
Restores my life
The next day…
The weather is gloomy today, and in such moments, even if you’re not broken, the atmosphere can make you feel as though you are. I’ll be working the afternoon shift with Gabriela, while Megan covers the morning shift. I spent my morning engaged in household chores, accompanied by a comforting acoustic playlist. During this time, thoughts of Bryan resurfaced, particularly when a song called “Wish You Were Mine” played. It was my first time hearing this song, and as the music filled the air, I found myself listening eagerly, resonating with the emotions expressed in the lyrics.
I look at you, you make me blind
Why do you have to be so beautiful all the time?
I know I can’t be with you
It’s killing me to see you with someone else
What to do?
Interrupting my dishwashing mode, I grabbed a kitchen towel to dry my hands. Seating myself at the dining table where my laptop was resting, I played the song and immersed myself in the heartfelt lyrics, giving my full attention to the emotional resonance of the music.
Now I am in the corner and watching you smile
Watching you smile
And I can’t get over you
I’m losing my mind
[Chorus]
All of the things that I wish I could tell you
Every time when you’re passing me by
I fall in love, there’s something about you
I wish you were mine
And if I only could be there to hold you
It feels like I stop breathing when you’re around
I’m in love, there’s something about you
I wish you were mine
A smile crept across my face as I contemplated the impact of the song. Oh, this song! It has the power to make me feel young, like a high schooler with a crush, admiring someone from afar. And as the song continued, it carried me along with its nostalgic and sentimental vibe.
So many times I wanted to
Put my arms around you just to be close to you
And in my head, it’s just you and I
And I don’t know why I feel this way
Now I am in the corner and watching you smile
Watching you smile
And I can’t get over you
I’m losing my mind
I paused the song, grabbed my guitar, and set about learning to play and sing it. The joy of singing soon gave way to a touch of sadness, a mix of sweetness and melancholy in the lyrics.
Well, that’s enough of that. Time to prepare for work. Get yourself together, Lindsey Althea!
As I entered the store, I noticed Megan’s expression. This time, she looked angry. Familiar with the stages of a breakup—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—I sensed she was still in denial, perhaps transitioning into the anger stage.
“Hi, girl! Good afternoon. How are you feeling?” I greeted her with a hug. “I’m not okay. My boyfriend is being a jerk,” she replied. She shared that after their friendly breakup, they were still communicating fine. Today, however, he responded rudely, expressing a desire to have nothing to do with her and using hurtful words.
The workday unfolded, with Megan informing others about the breakup. The bellmen and drivers got wind of it, and I couldn’t help teasing them about the possibility of Megan finding someone new. While I saw potential in certain connections, I felt it was crucial for Megan to prioritize healing before jumping into a new relationship.
Observing her behavior, I could discern the pain beneath her smiles. I suggested, half in joke, that the company should offer a special leave called “breakup heal,” allowing her to take time off to process the pain. Despite the circumstances, we found moments of laughter amid the seriousness. I playfully warned Megan, “I know there are a lot of guys out there, but please, not my Bryan, okay?” It was said in a joke, but there was an underlying sincerity—I wasn’t ready for them to be together, not yet. She could choose anyone else, just not him, at least for now. I repeated this sentiment, both during a serious conversation and a casual one at McDonald’s, and each time, Elena and Megan laughed. It was a joke, but a joke with a touch of truth.
Poor Bryan, owning him without him knowing. HAHA
But her response caught me off guard. “Well, he already knows that I am single,” she said. I was left speechless, anticipating her next words. “I was buying pastries at the café for the drivers and telling them how we broke up, and Bryan was there too, waiting for his food,” she added.
I felt a small sting in my heart. I had to check myself again. You’re not allowed to get hurt. You don’t own him, and you have no right, I told myself. But it also pained me that Megan didn’t consider what I had mentioned multiple times—not him, not yet.
The pain persisted when, later in the day, I found myself wondering how long Bryan had been working at the hotel. Megan went to ask one of the bellmen, who then asked Bryan, and he returned with her question if they wanted to exchange numbers.
Apparently, he’s been working there for five years. I was surprised because I haven’t seen him there before. I thought he was new, but then I came to the realization that I wasn’t really paying attention to people there.
But the highlight of it all, right before my eyes, they exchanged numbers. The bellman even commented, “You guys would make a good couple.” telling Megan.
That’s it, Lindsey. My heart is breaking into pieces. There you go. Feel all the pain. Silently.
I found myself alone for a few hours at work before Gabriela arrived. The rain poured hard, creating the perfect backdrop for the unexplainable pain I was experiencing. I was caught in a state of “I shouldn’t feel this” and “why am I feeling this?” I wanted to put a stop to these emotions. I should be focusing on my marriage, not on this. David had been busy with work, and our conversations were always brief, even our video calls sometimes ended with one of us falling asleep.
In the midst of these emotions for Bryan, I wished fervently for it to stop. I wanted to end it instantly, but I knew it would require a lot of self-talk and mental effort. What was wrong with me? I couldn’t recognize myself. I knew I would never do anything to hurt my husband. I loved him, but this was a real struggle.
The store was quiet, and I gazed outside at the pouring rain. Unbeknownst to me, tears were streaming down my face, blending with the weather. I reached for my journal; I needed an outlet to express these emotions.
I knew it . I knew it from the beginning
That they can end up together
Or start liking each other
She’s nice and pretty
But I told her not to choose him
Yet, at least not yet
I know I am dealing with my own emotions
Still trying to figure out what it is
And how to get out from this
Dealing with it wisely and carefully
Eventhough I have no intentions to be liked by him
I am not ready for this
Facing the pain of seeing him with someone else
Especially with my friend
I warned her; she can choose others
They are lining up for her
Since the break up
But please, not him
Not yet
I will be happy to see them both happy
But I just can’t handle it now
My heart is so heavy
Because I know I can only like him from afar
And be in pain silently
