Princess Leah

Chapter 8: Silent Connections

Princess Leah

NOTE: IN THIS FICTIONAL TALE, ANY RESEMBLANCE TO ACTUAL PERSONS, LIVING OR DEAD, OR EXISTING LOCATIONS IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL AND UNINTENDED.

Hello, dear readers. As promised, here’s another chapter. I appreciate those who continue to follow this story of love and friendship – Unspoken Words, Admiring You from Afar. 

For those who haven’t read it yet, you can read it here.

This story will continue with a new chapter every Sunday. Feel free to subscribe via email; your support means a lot to me. Share your reactions in the comment box below – I welcome them all.

Love, Princess

Chapter 8: Silent Connections

Opening up to Gabriela about my feelings regarding Bryan and Megan during our shift felt somewhat relieving. I mentioned my plan to talk to Megan about it, but given her recent breakup, I understand she has a lot on her plate. I still intend to discuss my feelings with her when the time is right.

In the meantime, I’ve been actively avoiding Bryan. I even adjusted my daily water intake goal to 2000ml so I wouldn’t have to use the bathroom and pass by the lobby. I refrain from looking at the front desk, opting to walk straight to my destination and back. I recognize this might come off as rude, Sorry, I have my reasons.

There are instances when I catch him looking at me from the corner of my eye. I remind myself to return to my original path and not engage in any unnecessary glances. I feel conflicted because I don’t want to appear mean, but I have to try to get him out of my head. They say, “out of sight, out of mind,” so perhaps if I don’t see him, I’ll eventually forget about him.

I’ve walked through the lobby a few times, and I’m not sure if saying hi or not bothers him. Occasionally, I get the sense that it does. He tries to make eye contact, and there are moments when I catch him looking at me. I choose to pretend I don’t notice, questioning the point of acknowledging it. Is he sensing that I might have feelings for him? Does he feel the same way, or am I just imagining things? It’s like we’re having a silent conversation through our eyes.

At times, I wonder if he’s aware that I’m married. Has he ever taken the time to find out? Does he even know my name, considering he’s never asked? All these questions, the uncertainty, and the constant overthinking can be overwhelming at times. This guy! Driving me crazy! It’s cute though.

Staring Contest

As I continue working, I decide to clean up the shelves. I don’t know where this dust coming from. It gets dirty every day. The shelves of souvenirs are somewhat get a view from the Front Desk. I didn’t bother to look at that side, I don’t even know if he is still there. He might get home.

No, I’m wrong. I accidentally looked that way. He’s there, ready to go home. He opens the door from their office, and I look at him – he’s already looking at me. Our eyes lock. Okay, what’s this? Staring contest? He continues staring for a few minutes, and I stare back. What’s strange is that neither of us smiles. In that moment, it feels like we’re communicating with our eyes. He then looks away first and leaves.

What just happened? I wondered what he was thinking while staring at me. I know men tend to gaze at women, but that look felt like more than just casual staring. As I stared back, these words echoed in my mind: I want to care for you, boldly. But I couldn’t. I am sorry that I couldn’t express it. I am sorry that I am taken. Do you feel the same? Do you also like me?

When he’s sad or having a bad day, I want to ask if he is okay. I want his day to be better, and I want him to smile if that’s the only thing I can do to make his day. But I know I can’t. If I express it, I don’t want him to fall for me, because I know, and maybe he knows too, that I couldn’t reciprocate that. That’s why I’ve decided to admire him from afar simply.

What scares me more is if he feels the same. Again, I don’t want to break his heart. I am more worried about what he might feel for me. I don’t want to be the reason for anyone’s heartbreak. I’d rather feel the pain myself than cause it to others.

The truth is, there were times I felt he might have similar feelings for me. Who knows? If he does, he might have already acted on it. But he hasn’t. Sometimes, I also sense that because he knows I am already taken, that’s why he’s not acting on it. I could also sense that he is a man of integrity, and maybe that’s one thing that has drawn me to him. I feel emotions at times, instincts, gut feelings that he might have something for me as well. But also, I might be delusional. Am I going crazy now? I don’t know. Okay, Lindsey, stop overthinking. You’re being delusional.

This is the hardest part—when things are left unsaid.

Night Shift

I worked with Elena during this night shift. Of course, I shared it with her. She’s my soul sister, and I feel comfortable telling her these things because I have a feeling she understands me. However, there are times she says that she doesn’t like Bryan’s vibe. I understand; that everyone has a different view of people. I wish I had that look at him, though, so I could easily move on from these forbidden feelings. But no, I still admire him. Is this weird? We don’t even talk, like a real conversation. But I admire everything about him. Of course, there’s a part of me that hopes he also feels the same, but a stronger part hopes he won’t. Lindsey Althea, you’re absolutely weird.

As I got home, that staring moment stayed in my head. I wish I could ask him what that was supposed to mean. Isn’t it normal for him to look at people like that? Maybe I’m not the only one he looks at like that. Perhaps it’s just his normal gaze, so I shouldn’t give it any meaning. Right, Lindsey? That’s right. I know I’m weird talking to myself at times. But with Bryan, I’ve been talking to myself more often. I hope this won’t make me a crazy woman.

Resting in the glow of an unexpected moment, I can’t deny the flutter of joy that lingers after our brief staring contest. It’s strange and unspoken, yet I feel flattered like a secret connection exists. It’s not a romantic love, but pure and genuine care. I sense he wants to care for me, though he might not know how.

This unexpected emotion catches me off guard. It’s a simple joy, wishing him a great life from afar, without expecting anything in return. I can love someone without needing them to reciprocate. My heart is content tonight, grateful for this unique connection that makes me feel alive and youthful. I hope he’s doing well, and I can’t help but wonder if he’s replaying our silent conversation in his mind as well.

As I dwell on these positive emotions, my thoughts shift to Megan. Tomorrow, we’re scheduled to work the night shift together, and I can’t help but feel a sense of awkwardness about facing her. I continue to pray for her well-being, knowing that the pain of a breakup isn’t something easily brushed aside. The night ahead will bring uncertainties, but I hope that she finds strength and solace amid the challenges.

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