When God Spoke at 2AM

When God Spoke at 2AM

It was around two in the morning when I suddenly woke up with one thought repeating in my mind: “What does it profit a person to gain the whole world and lose their soul?”

I could not ignore it.

So I got up, went to the living room, and opened my Bible. But the question stayed with me. I prayed and asked: “Lord, what do You want me to hear?”

Lately, life has felt exhausting. I have been reflecting on many things—especially the decisions I made years ago. Was it the right choice to leave the Philippines and come here to Aruba? I have already accepted that this is home now, though that realization was one of the hardest lessons of my life.

And yet, I am deeply grateful.

I have my husband here, and our two beautiful children. They are blessings I would never trade for anything in this world.

Still, if I am honest, there are moments when I feel discouraged—especially when it comes to career, growth, and the life I imagined for myself.

Am I behind?

Sometimes I look at old classmates and see houses, cars, travel, success. I truly feel happy for them. But then quiet questions rise in my own heart:

Am I behind?
Am I stuck?
Am I unsuccessful?

But success depends on how we define it.

Many people define success by possessions, titles, and outward comfort. But my sister once said something I have never forgotten:

“Success means doing what God wants you to do.”

That changed how I see things.

Yes, it is not always easy to hold a degree and feel like your studies are not being fully used. It is not always easy to carry the thought that you could be doing more or becoming more.

But God has also given me something the world cannot give:

contentment
peace
gratitude

And those are treasures too.

Working Mom of two

As a working mother of two, life is busy. Some days feel like work, responsibilities, and exhaustion from morning until night. Even when I want to do more, I often feel like I have no strength left.

I miss spending time with God the way I used to.

I miss hearing His voice clearly.

That night, I prayed:

“I miss You, God. Please let me know if I am being heard.”

Then I went back to bed.

Gentle Answer

The next day at work, I kept praying silently for wisdom. Around lunchtime, the song Holy Forever began to play.

And suddenly, I understood.

It was as if God gently answered:

“This is what I wanted to remind you.”

My heart softened immediately.

All the worries about status, position, money, and comparison became small in that moment.

God was reminding me that the best things in life are not the things the world celebrates.

What He wants most is:

• my heart
• my obedience
• my surrendered soul
• my love for Him

Maybe I do not have everything I once imagined.

Maybe my life does not look “successful” to everyone.

But a humble heart surrendered to God is never wasted.

A life of quiet faithfulness still matters.

This does not mean ambition or career goals are wrong. There is nothing wrong with working hard, growing, and doing well.

But while we pursue those things, we must never forget that God cares more deeply about our soul than our status.

So today, I choose to release negative thoughts.

I choose gratitude.

I choose to honor God whether I have much or little.

God still reached for me

And what moves me most is this:

Even in my tiredness…
Even in my confusion…
Even in the middle of an ordinary workday…

God still reached for me.

He never disappoints.

And the only right response is to give Him all the glory and praise.

Scripture Reflection

“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it.
What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?”
— Holy Bible Mark 8:35–36

Scripture Context

When I read this passage, I also looked at its context in the Bible (Mark 8:34–36). Jesus was speaking about the cost of discipleship—what it means to truly follow Him and place Him above everything else.

It reminded me that this verse is not just about success or possessions, but about the posture of my heart before God.

Today’s Worship Cover: Reckless Love

I started singing again and recording worship covers, and this Reckless Love cover can be heard on my BandLab account.

I chose this song because it reminds me of how relentlessly God pursues us, even in seasons when we feel distant, tired, distracted, or uncertain.

The night I woke up with questions in my heart, I felt burdened by life, responsibilities, and thoughts about success. But God gently reminded me that His love is not based on my achievements or status.

He comes after our hearts.

Even when I feel too busy, too weary, or too far away, His love still reaches me.

That is what this song means to me today.

Love, Princess